So much of life is divided by before and after.
Don't forget the sometimes impossibly-long in between.
Today I'm letting myself quietly process the after: a Christmas filled with hope, hurt, and healing. A Christmas where laughter came as easily as my tears. A Christmas with people I loved, and without the one I lost; without the one I still can't find. But with, yes, so with these dear ones, and the dear ones scattered across the globe whose hearts nevertheless beat with mine. Imperfectly. Perfectly.
With grief tickling my throat, it was somehow easier to be this Christmas, to let myself enter each room with aching heart and unfurling hope, to do my best and let it be enough. To connect, even as questions linger. To be present in each perfectly imperfect moment.
As I light this candle tonight, I am holding you. I am leaving our hurting hearts at Love's feet. I am praying for me, for you, and you. I am letting smiles intermingle with tears. I am letting it all be. In the after. And the yet-to-come.
Yesterday I sent a message to my mailing list with this Christmas prayer for all of us: peace, one breath at a time. Followed by laughter. Repeat.
Hurts turning to healing. Blessing & beauty among the bumps & bruises. Calm amidst the chaos.
It's possible.
It is, sweet one. It is. Peace to you tonight {all nights}.
xo
Amanda
2 comments:
My sweetest daughter and friend, all I can say is yes. thank you. amen.
my heart swells with tender care
for the be
beautiful heart
that is yours
and I send love and prayers
for grace to feel the beautiful weight of your worth
and thank you for shining so brightly, dear Amanda:)
-Jennifer
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